IT's a...

GIRL!!

We found out on March 19 at about 10am! I don't have scan-able or printable ultrasound images so no proof until she's out, but we did see her on the screen! When the technician announced it, Jeff looked at the screen and said, "yup, there's nothing there!" It was a great experience for us, I always love being able to see the baby, hear the heartbeat and watch them move. Jeff met me there during a work break, then I picked up balloons to take to the boys. I have to admit I had a hard time not being an emotional wreck! I have waited for this for so long! I also have to admit that I have already been baby girl clothes shopping and am planning out the pink and purple nursery!! We are so excited to have a SISTER in the family!

Sea World!

I found out about a great way to get into Sea World with their homeschooling program. My mom & I took the boys and their cousins for $5.75 each! We drove up the day before and stayed in a hotel so we didn't have to leave at 5 am (best decision ever!) The trip was super fun and a ton of work, but I'm so glad we did it! Tyler is obsessed with sharks right now and cousin Lily had a dolphin birthday, so it fit it our March celebrations perfectly!!

The kids watching the turtles and tropical fish! I love the silhouette look next to the bright colors!

I think this is the megaladon jaw (extinct shark- thank goodness!)

See why we didn't take very many pictures? HEHEEE!!

My mom is pretty amazing and I'm so glad she always wants to have a crazy adventure with me!! Imagine a 3 hour drive with 5 kids ages 1-6 and no dads... there and back. We found ourselves cracking up quite often at the craziness around us... laugh or cry, right?!!

Tyler's SHARK birthday!

Our big boy Tyler turned 5 this week!! He chose to have a SHARK theme party which was a big hit!!

We had a coloring station with the pinata candy bags to decorate and put stickers on...
THE COOLEST SHARK WATERMELON full of berries and melon... so yummy and cute!

we filled cups with goldfish, pretzels and fish gummies as "shark bait" for snacks

And LOTS of great friends!!

and family! :)

PINATA time was a huge HIT (no pun intended, ok maybe a little bit!)

even Grandpa got in on the fun!

and everyone loved jumping on the trampoline!

My good friend Alissa made these delicious and scary cupcakes!

Singing Happy Birthday:

and present time from all our great friends:

Here's the party favor gifts he gave his friends:

The party turned out perfectly! Everyone was able to make it and it was a beautiful day- perfect for an outside party.

And of course Daddy took the boys shopping on his REAL birthday and came home with this huge thing!!

A day to remember...

...and not necessarily in a good way, but in a way that will hopefully make me a better mom. The day started out really great, we were up early as a family, Jeff was headed running, I jumped in the shower, Jack got a bath and Tyler even showered too. It was picture day for Tyler so we picked out a handsome outfit and put gel in his hair. A little before 9 Jeff headed to work while the boys and I piled in the car. Jackson and I went to mommy-and-me gymnastics after we dropped off Tyler at preschool. After gymnastics Jackson and I shared a pretzel and juice at Target and I got a few storage boxes to organize the office. We came home for an hour before preschool pick up to wrap presents and straighten up a bit. I had a great conversation with Katie, and enjoyed a quiet, productive morning.

At noon, we picked up Tyler and his friend and all the boys ate snacks outside in the warming sun, with the back door open while I cleaned my already tidied kitchen. I was productive all afternoon while the kids played and we enjoyed the day. We headed to see Lanie in the afternoon, to invite her to Tyler's b-day party and pay rent for our home. We picked up Grace who comes to play with the boys on Thursdays while I get jobs done. Today I worked more on organizing the playroom.

When she left, we started dinner and my kitchen helpers moved their chairs up to help me cook spaghetti. We talked, laughed, stirred, and prepped our dinner. After dinner Tyler decided on cherry-chip flavored cupcakes to share with their Tiny Tots class tomorrow so we got to baking those. Tyler stirred the kitchen aid while Jackson filled the cupcake tin with white papers. I remember thinking how darling it was that he pushed each paper into the tin with his hand even though it was already in there just fine. We put them in the oven and Tyler found some floss to play shark fishing. He literally tied the dental floss around his toy shark and sat on the counter until it "bit". I almost stopped him, because that is just not what we do with floss, and then I stopped myself, remembering that this is how boys explore and learn. I remember thinking how awesome my kids are and how great of a mom I am being... and that's about the last of the happy memories. It's not uncommon for a mommy-melt down to occur after 5pm. But tonight, I am left feeling like I ruined our perfectly good day.

I pulled the cupcakes out and walked into the office to get some computer work done. Tyler told me Jackson had a cupcake and I immediately found Jackson red handed with a cupcake paper (and no cupcake left) yelled at him and spanked his bum. A few minutes later Tyler came in to tell me "Jackson had another one" In which I said, "seriously?" Then I looked at his face and saw that there were cupcake crumbs on Tyler's face. I yelled at him for eating one "Now we won't have enough for your friends!! And don't EVER lie to me."

The look on his face broke my anger and turned it into pure regret. I hate that I yelled before thinking and ruined an opportunity to teach and uplift. So what if there aren't enough cupcakes for the kids in their Tiny Tots class who I don't even know their names...

Tyler ran off and cried on his bed, while I came up with a lame apology and tried to take it back. But at that point, we all lost it. I tried to make up for it by happily performing our bedtime routine of songs, tickle backs and good-nights, but my obvious bad mood rubbed off on all. Jackson cried about the Megatron robot he wanted and didn't have, Tyler kept saying, "I'm so sad" and my desperate attempt to make it ok just wasn't enough.

I am now writing it all down in hopes it will be therapeutic, not positive that I will hit the publish button, but sure that I am making a learning moment out of this. Tonight I have prayed for more patience, for the ability to think before I talk (or yell), and the constant understanding that I am taking care of two very special little boys. Boys that have come directly from our Heavenly Father, who in a lot of ways, still remember Jesus, and who have taught me more about life and love than I could ever learn in any other way. So tonight I go to bed with a heavy heart, with the desire to make tomorrow better, and a little scared that I will fail again. In fact, for sure I will. But I will never take for granted that we have a happy family and opportunities to do better. Maybe that's why we get to live so many days. Chances to re-do situations and eventually perfect ourselves. I found these words of counsel that gives me some relief in my quest to be a better mom:

President Ezra Taft Benson said, "We must be careful, as we seek to become more and more Christlike, that we do not become discouraged and lose hope. Becoming Christlike is a lifetime pursuit and very often involves growth and change that is slow, almost imperceptible."